we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
