wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
