Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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