and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
