hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize