I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
