nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
