remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
