You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
