I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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