I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
