just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize