TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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