there was a trapeze. enough said
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dick very happy bro
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
