Princesses don't give blow jobs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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