Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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