She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
