im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
