i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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