He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
