He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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