too bad you live with your parents still
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
