So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
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Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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