clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
