oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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