it was like fucking gandolphs beard
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
