i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
