I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
