Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
In America we eat man semen.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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