my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
