I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
