If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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