Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
