i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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