Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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