To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
