i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize