You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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