Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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