oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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