May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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