hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
