Small penises have feelings too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
