uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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