someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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