im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
