Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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