Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
