I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
