I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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