If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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