just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You dont lie about slip and slides
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
