My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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