He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
