Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Who died my cat blue again?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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