I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
