He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
