Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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