i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Please don't give away my fajitas
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