you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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